I spent the first year of my separation always yearning to meet and be with my children, cherishing every moment that I had with them. They were my primary motivation for wanting to meet and make new friends, who also had children and could understand our pain. Thus was born, "Wings". And things have never been the same, since. For over the past 9 years, now, I am so much more happier with the thought that my children have so many new friends their age, as well as caring "uncles" and "aunts" who dote on them. I see the excitement on their faces when I pick them up and frequently confirm their queries that we would be meeting with "the others", and be going on a picnic or playing tennis or golf or going out of town on a trip, etc. Yes, we have all definitely moved on.

Very broadly speaking, the seemingly, increasing separation-rate amongst Indians abroad (and perhaps back home, too) appear to be the signs of the times. The various external factors - relocating to a new country (away from family and friends for many of us) and adjusting to this new immigrant life style, as well as that initial struggle to establish one's self in a new land (especially in the corporate environment from a work perspective) - probably play a big role in the daily interactions between working couples, adding a lot to their respective frustration levels. Add kids to this equation, and you have the recipe for things going wrong in a hurry. And of course, this does not take into account the personality differences that every couple encounters between each other.

At the risk of sounding flippant, it is sad that the sacred institution of marriage can be so easily undone today. Depending upon the situation, I would plead with all couples - especially those with kids - to please do everything possible to try to make things work out - if not for yourselves, then do it for the sakes of your children. Try to put yourselves in your children's shoes and put their happiness first. Only after one has exhausted all avenues, should divorce even be considered as an option. It is very easy to find "friends" or relatives, who will whole-heartedly agree with your point of view. But you have to realize that at the end of the day, it is you and your children and your ex-spouse, that will have to go to bed in a broken home. And your children are doomed to spend the rest of their lives (till they become independent), shuttling back and forth from one house to the other, to see either parent - who mean everything to them. Once again, this is all dependant on the unique situation that one undergoes, leading up to divorce. And finally, if at all possible, try to keep the lawyers out of it and work with each other, to reach a fair and amicable settlement. And if you have children, try to be sensitive to the fact that BOTH parents typically love their offspring and would like to spend a fair and equal time with them. And for God's sakes - keep money out of this whole equation, as much as possible. Help each other, with the thought in mind that BOTH of you are entitled to the same lifestyle that you had, when you were together.

In conclusion, this group is not only about single parents. In fact, we have a lot of members who are just single-again, and are seeking to move on with their lives with people who understand and share their pain. And if you're thinking about divorce, I hope that you have exhausted all other avenues prior to have taken this step. We have one life to live - so let's live that life to the best of our abilities. Often, I hear a dear friend of mine say - "If only I knew when married, what I know today". And I reply back "...it was only a matter of time. And patience. Everyone comes to that realization, sooner or later". God bless you!

- Shamyo Chatterjee

 "Wings" is a private, non-profit group supporting single-again Indians, world-wide.